Now, back to how cool I am...
Most people wouldn't dispute the fact that I am damn near the coolest person around... but I want to reinforce that fact - since I am now the (proud??) owner of a new minivan.
Some of you may question how I can be THAT cool while driving a minivan, and that would be your first error in thought process. Minivans are inherently about as uncool as you can get - you know it, I know it and Uncle Bob knows it. Even when you're by yourself and there aren't 4 kids in the back, you can't crank up the music and present the illusion of coolness to the general public, like you could if you were still driving around your little sedan.
The whole purpose of my blurb today is to advise everyone of an upcoming trend in the world of 'cool'. You see, the minivan wasn't my idea. I give full credit for that brainwave to my significant other. I wanted a sports car but the love of my life, who I will temporarily call Mr. Fun Wrecker, vetoed me based on the fact that we all wouldn't fit in a sports car. "Who cares", says I? "The rest of you can follow me in the truck! (insert evil snicker *here*)"
Fate, however, had other plans: following a tense game of "rock paper scissors" - which I lost - we bought a minivan. For a while I was mildly concerned the impact of this purchase would have on my general cool factor, and then I realized that my concerns were for naught. You see, (listen up, this is where I explain the new cool trend) once people see me cruising around in my new minivan people will realize how awesome they really are. Because of my COLOSSAL coolness, nothing can ever lower my coolness rating - rather, by me driving a minivan, I am now increasing its' coolness factor.
So there you go - there's the future trend in vehicles, I suggest you jump on board.
posted by The Queen of Useless Knowledge @ 2:48 p.m.
3 comments
3 Comments:
I think that you may need t find a good psychologist. Even the mere mention of the word "cool" along with the word "mini-van" ignites a precarious paradox. The only way the word "cool" and "mini-van" can co-exist in the same sentence is when the prefix "un" is attached to "cool".
Ha - Put that in your pipe and smoke it!!
Excuse the intrusion, but this is the latest stop on my tour of other people's Blogger blogs that use the same template as mine. Congratulations.
And I've had a minivan for about three years now and I have some bad news: Not cool. Not cool at all. Whatever the opposite of cool is (hot? No that doesn't quite capture it), that's what minivans are. Right now it's all new and stuff, but wait until you get some juice stains and ground-up crackers in the upholstery (assuming you have kids, because if you don't and you STILL bought a minivan, then there's nothing more I can do for you). It just screams domestic tameness and functionality. Might as well start wearing a mumu and not bothering to wash. That's what I did.
When you receive a vehicle as a gift, you don't get too picky about anything!
(aside from the fact that we do have 4 kids, so we actuallly NEEDED something with more room - I hate being logical sometimes.)
A sports car would've been way more fun. I guess I'll have to save that for my midlife crisis.
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